After one and a half years of being a father, I feel that it is nearly impossible to be a perfect father to my children. In this journey, I have the opportunity to really examine what does a father really mean in its truest sense.
A father is the progenitor and the source of life for his children. This principle itself has so much depth what we need to invest months and years to comprehend its depth. When I see my children, Raysa and Raquel, I can see my own reflection in their eyes. My life and their lives seem to be intertwined. My children take after my traits, whether good or bad. I am the first role model in their lives. And that is a heavy responsibility to bear.
It also means that whoever my children grows up to be, I am the person fully responsible. In the area of their character values, their mental, emotional and spiritual growth, I am directly involved in their progress. When I had this revelation, I knew that I will be the main teacher for them, especially the initial growing years till 12 years old. It is in this period where character values are formed and established.
It is for this reason that I took a slower pace of life, away from the hectic city life model, and work from home. For the past year, it has done tremendous fulfillment to my inner man, my relationship with my wife and my toddlers. And I look forward to the day to day teaching of my children, life skills and character values. It has become my passion.
Thus, I embarked on a home schooling program. I began reading a lot of educational materials and coming up with my own program to help my children grow and learn in their own unique way. Every child is different, and the best teacher for them will be the parents.
Does it take a toll on me? Yes of course! Practically, it will mean to take a huge pay cut, as I no longer work 12 hours a day and earn the hefty paycheck. My family expenses will have to be very lean and budgeting becomes the key skill in managing my family finances. Also, it will mean to juggle working from home, meeting clients, giving workshops, investing clients’ money, helping out with the chores, ministering to my wife and teaching my children. My life becomes one with a laser sharp focus, eliminating anything that does not contribute to the success of my work and family life. I have become a purpose driven father.
So about responsibility, different fathers will have different ways of taking up his role in his family. But one fact remains the same. We are all committed to the healthy growth of our children and will do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal.
A responsible father is a self sacrificing father. And I am far from that ideal. All I have is a willing heart.